Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Top 10 Relationship Tips


The Top 10 Relationship Tips


A relationship takes work - it takes time, patience, and a lot of willing to compromise. Some relationships are almost doomed before they begin, but end up succeeding. Others seem to be a match made in heaven, but separate without a word. Why does this happen?!
Well, some are more willing to work at things, and others know what they need to go to keep their relationship going. While I can't give you advice on how to work at it, I can give you the top ten relationship tips. You've got a leg up in a relationship if you know these!
#1: Communicate
Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and more relationships end in a breakup. What most people don't realize is that this is completely unneeded, and the relationships end without a fair chance.

Communication is something that every relationship needs - before you go and toss those few months, or few years, out the window, learn some basic communication skills.
Talk about your day to start with, and make time to sit down each evening and talk about what happened. Neither of you should ever be afraid to share your feelings, and you should neverever leave things unsaid. It makes a lot of difference in the end.
#2: Flexibility

No woman wants a man that won't let her go out on the weekends because he doesn't know the people she's going out with. He's her boyfriend, her husband, and her lover. He's not her parents.
Remember to be flexible with your girl, and realize that there are things that you need to compromise on - from little things like the dishes, or the car, to big things like a house, and a vacation. If you're flexible, you're showing her you care enough to put her needs in front of yours.
#3: What You Did To Get Her, You Do To Keep Her
A lot of men put up appearances in the first months of their relationship. You take her out every night, buy her flowers, woo her with romance. She moves in, and you clean the house, keep up with the dishes, and draw her bath water with rose petals after a long, rough day at work. It's sweet, it's romantic, and she loves you for it.
Then you get comfortable with each other. The dishes go undone, she starts drawing her own bath water, and you stop caring about going out and making love to her. It's a sad fact, but it's true; you've gotten lazy, my friend.
What you do to get her, you do to keep her. Never put on appearances that you can't keep up, and remember that each day is a new way to make her smile and laugh.
#4: Learn to Listen
"Did you hear what I said?" "Honey, did you pick up the dry cleaning like I asked? What do you mean, you didn't hear me? I asked you three times!" "So what do you think? Were you even listening?!"
Women tend to talk a lot - it's a stereotype, yes, but it's one that tends to be true. Men stop listening after a while, and forget that it's important to their relationship that they learn to listen to their lovers.
Don't just think about a reply as she's talking, but concentrate on her words. See from her point of view - yeah, sure, they didn't have the pair of shoes she wanted at the store. Imagine if you went to three sports supply stores, but couldn't find the brand you wanted.
And use the Golden Rule when it comes to women.
If It's Important to Them, It Better Be as Important to You!
#5: Quality Time
You don't think you need to spend specific time with her. You see each other at night, in the morning, during dinner... why would you need to spend more time with each other to be in a successful relationship?
Well, the fact is, without good quality time together, your relationship will not survive. You begin to grow apart, stop paying attention to each other, and one day you'll wake up and realize that you no longer know the person sleeping next to you.
The minimum time should be a half an hour a night, and at least one day a month - a full day, too, not just a couple of hours. Treat your day alone like a date, and spend real, quality time talking, laughing, and reconnecting.
Your relationship needs it to survive.
#6: Develop Interests Outside of Your Circle
Some women, and men, think that when they get into a relationship, they have to drop everything that doesn't relate to their partner. Men will stop going out to the bar with their friends, stop playing World of Warcraft online in the evenings, and stop other activities like rebuilding their old '69 Mustang.
But this ends up breeding unhappiness, and even resentment. Instead of discarding everything, keep the activities you had when you weren't with your girl. Keep your cars, and your friends - and even your games. This lets you appreciate your gal even more, and as long as you can spend your needed quality time with her... in the end, it might keep your relationship strong.
#7: Stay Positive
Keep positive in your relationship, no matter what. This includes complimenting your gal at every chance you can get. Women tend to be insecure, no matter what face they try to put on, and are constantly seeking your approval.
Show her that you approve by doing small things - things like telling you that you love her out of the blue, complimenting an every-day outfit or shirt, and telling her that her hair looks great, even if it's just pulled up and out of her face.
She'll know you appreciate her, and the less she worries, the more time she has to spend with you.
#8: Stop Fighting about Money
Money is one of the biggest things couples fight over, so avoid it from the start. No, don't avoid talking about money - and don't avoid thinking about it. Avoid the fighting by sitting down and working out a budget.
While you should stay flexible, make sure you both get enough 'Me-Money', money should be allotted to pay bills, and some should go into savings for a rainy day. Always discuss big purchases, and never get defensive.
Also, don't overestimate the money that you need, and never yell about the money that she wants. Break down what she spends, and see if you can come to a happy compromise.
#9: Five Good Comments = One Bad One
Studies have suggested that it takes about five good experiences to erase one bad one. Remember that horrid fight you had last week? You might be over it - but she isn't.
Keep this number in mind as you go about your day to day life. For each cold should you give her, give her five big hugs throughout the day. For each time she says that you've ignored her, sit down and talk with her about your day.
And for each miserable comment you give her (Or she gives you!), remember five compliments, and a genuine smile. Work at it, and she will, too.
#10: No One Ever Changes in a Relationship
She's not going to change. She'll always be the picky eater she was on your first date - no, she's not going to wear that yellow dress, even if your mother bought it for her. And yes, she will always whine about doing the dishes, even if she eventually does them.
Don't presume that she's going to change in your relationship, just because you don't like something. Learn to love your partner for who she is, and accept her flaws the best you can. The sooner you can get past "The Little Things", the sooner your relationship will improve. You'd be shocked how many arguments are started over things like toenails!
Trust is crucial in a healthy relationship.

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